LATEST MATCH REPORT: LADIES 5TH XI

02/12/06

Ladies Sparkly 5s vs Byfleet Ramblers 2s

Spirits were running high as we all gathered at Battersea Park for 1015am for our 11am pushback. I would like to be able to say it was due to us all brimming with excitement at the thought of the match ahead, but alas, it had more to do with the afternoon and evenings plans for our team hen, Miss Swai-sun.
However, we still had lots of energy and determination ready for Byfleet, and in Captain Flops own words ‘This team might take up the last place in the league, but please do not underestimate them.’ So we were ready for the battle, back in last season’s formation with 3 forwards, Captain had opted for maximum attack.

We needed goals, and lots of them, to guarantee we were no longer tied in 2nd place or lingering just behind. We had Double Bent and Moggy on the sideline joined by Mr Swai-sun, everything was in place.

We passed the ball around well, using the width of the pitch just as Floppy had requested and we created a lot of chances. We didn’t manage to achieve our ‘goal in the first 5 minutes’ as we would have liked and time carried on to tick by without the thump on the backboard we were all so eager to hear. With frustration building and plenty of ooohs and aaahs coming from the sidelines (supporters you filthy lot!) it was looking as though the half time talk was going to be a tough one. Until, alas, Dutchess managed to slot one past the Byfleet goalie. Phew.

Possession was pretty much 80-20 on our side and even though Wednesdays training session with Liz Goodall had been focused on scoring, we did seem to be missing our Drogba/Adebayor/Saha and were having a bit more of a Shevchenko type of game. Not to say that Myfanwy wasn’t still extremely bored up at the other end, without a single little toe on the ball all game. Gr’umps managed to rub Byfleet’s no.3 up the wrong way (no not like that Monster) and there was lots of puffing and panting coming from her as she stomped (not ran) her way back to the half way line for yet another short corner.

A lot more determination, passion and oranges at half time (courtesy of Double Bent) saw the sparkly 5s swoosh another two goals passed the pink-checkered Ramblers. Our 2nd goal came from Monster (?) from a short corner either before or after half time, I’m afraid the fairy juice from the evenings antics has wiped that memory clean off. 3rd but not least, our Captain Flop got on the end of a rebound to see us finish 3-0.

Now that we had secured the victory, at last we could start concentrating on the real reason that 2nd December, 2006 existed – to gather ourselves around 75a Chesnut Grove, chez Ladz’, a safe haven for lost fairies, to commence what was to be a tremendously sparkly (and drunken) Hen party for Swai-sun. Hic-Hooray!

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